She got me thinking. In Western countries, so many people opt not to marry but have a wonderful home front. In fact, in an interview, one of Hollywood’s longest lasting couples, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, said their relationship survived for 34 years because they did not get married. Young India is now waking up to the possibility of partnership without marriage, because, for too long, the Indian marriage has been succumbing to the demands of the Indian family. After marriage one might be moving to a new apartment, even moving to a new town, but often it’s hard to escape the family and the baggage it brings. I give you 5 reasons why the Indian spouses are finding it hard to cope with the mounting pressures of the Indian family.
1. You are married to the family not to the spouse
My super rich friend was getting married to her super rich boyfriend and they wanted to have a destination wedding in Greece. Both families were excited about the idea of a destination wedding but her mom wanted it in Phuket and his mom wanted it in Udaipur. From that point, starting from the destination, to the colour of the bride and groom’s attire, to the menu and the wine, everything became a battleground between the two families. The wishes of the much-in-love couple were quickly shoved aside with the remark “you are too young to know anything” and the battle continued. Days before the wedding I felt sorry seeing my friend looking hassled, burdened and tired. I kept wondering, if this is the situation pre-marriage, what would happen after marriage? But that is the fact. It might not be a destination wedding, it might be just a simple wedding with saat phere, but the reality remains the same. Once you are married you are forever giving up the right to be just a couple out and about on your own. The moment you say the vows you become a part of a super-extended family where everyone’s feelings matter except your own.
2. Interference is something you have to live with
It is the birthright of every member of every Indian family to interfere in your affairs. You have to accept that and give them their due. Recently, after the demise of an uncle, I went to visit his family. The entire family came down to share the grief and also discuss the last rites, how the event would be held and what would be the menu.
