In the digital era, it’s pretty common to ask should I unfollow my ex or should I block them? Many times after the breakup you’ll feel the urge to just unfriend your ex from social media. That’s pretty normal because you either want to not be in their presence anymore or you want to bring them “back”. Whether you should unfollow your ex or not, it all depends on how this affects your wellbeing. Would it make a difference in your life or the healing process, if you followed or unfollowed your ex? Just don’t do it in an instant. Instead, you can take some time off social media and reflect better! Before unfollowing or unfriending your ex check out the reasons why you’re doing it…
Questions to ask yourself before unfriending or unfollowing your ex
Just when you’re about to press that button, know that you have the power for this situation. You can choose to either do it and regret it later or just take a step back, be calm and reflect. That’s why I am providing you with these intriguing questions:
- What does unfollowing my ex mean to me? What’s that important? It’s important to know if you’re doing this to put some boundaries or to take a step back from the whirlwind of the breakup. If you need to cut ties with your ex because the relationship was draining you then that’s perfectly fine. You’ve decided this is the final step toward detachment, that’s fine too.
- What happens if I decide to not unfollow my ex? How not unfollowing your ex impacts you that depends on the personality of your ex. Add to it, the reason that the breakup happened. If your relationship wasn’t bad and you broke up for mutual reasons, it’s not wrong to have your ex on social media. If both of you have already moved on, that won’t have a major impact on you. Otherwise, if you and your ex haven’t been healed from the breakup, following them would harm you.
- By unfollowing your ex are you trying to send any message to them? Sending encrypted messages such as unfollowing won’t bring your ex back or make them aware. Sometimes, not interacting with them and just muting for some time can help you get the answer.
- Think how you would feel after making this decision… Will this bring you peace, joy, or anything that you’ve been looking for? You know that decisions can change with time. Maybe you don’t want your ex at the moment because of anger but later that might change. 10 reasons why you should and shouldn’t unfollow or unfriend your ex:
1. You should unfollow them if you need some time apart to heal
If you need to prioritize yourself and your happiness then you should unfollow your ex. You should do it if seeing their posts makes you feel uncomfortable and lowers your self-esteem. They can post anything that can be immediately related to your past or your relationship. It can be a place that you went to together, some food that you ate, anything. Now, you’re triggered and you’ll think about why your ex is acting like this. Sometimes, they might do it on purpose, sometimes they might do it unconsciously. In this case, your mental and physical health can turn worse. You’ll start to think constantly about your ex and what they’re doing. That’s why you should distance yourself from your ex.
2. You should unfollow your ex if you feel threatened by them
This is the most appropriate thing to do when you are a part of a toxic relationship. When you unfollow your ex in this situation, you distance yourself from pain and toxicity. A narcissistic or controlling partner wants to keep tabs on your life. They want to know every step that you take. When your ex has access to your social media, it’s easier for them to use it as a tool of manipulation. They would try to interact with you even more and mix your thoughts. However, in this case, it’s better to use the No Contact rule and distance yourself from your ex. You should do it so you can detach yourself completely and end the relationship for good.
3. Unfollow your ex if you want to detox from the relationship
Bad relationships aren’t the ideal example of love. Yet, to nourish yourself you should start by unfollowing your ex on Instagram or elsewhere. When you unfollow your ex, you’re ready to set new boundaries. The moment you set new boundaries, you start to create a new mindset. It doesn’t mean that you can immediately forget your ex and detox if you unfollow them. It means that you are a step forward to healing once you don’t have access to your ex. By interrupting this pattern you interrupt the obsessive pattern too. This way you’re not tempted to check on their life.
4. You shouldn’t unfollow or unfriend your ex to seek revenge
Unfollow and revenge are two words that don’t go together. If you choose to unfollow your ex just to show that you can handle the breakup, that’s wrong. The aim of unfollowing an ex is to reach the inner peace within yourself after a breakup. If you do it to detach yourself from your ex, that’s completely appropriate. Unfollowing your ex immediately after the breakup will make you doubt your decision. That’s because right after the breakup, you’re hurt, in pain, and overwhelmed. What I advise you to do is turn down your social media for some time. You reflect and decide if you want to unfollow your ex or not.
5. You shouldn’t unfollow your ex if that will haunt you
If you want to unfollow your ex but you’re not sure, you better not do it. You’ll end up overthinking the whole situation. That won’t help you heal or even bring them back. Unfollowing your ex in an instant will make you follow them again. This way you’ll also send mixed signals to your ex. You’ll neither move on nor set boundaries. You’ll create even more confusion for yourself and your ex. Until you’re sure what to do and why you want to do it, check these other options:
- If you’re on Instagram you can mute their profile. This way you won’t see either their stories or their posts. It will be easier for you not to be reminded of your ex.
- If you’re on Facebook then you can hide your posts from this person. Yet, you can stop their posts from being on your Newsfeed
6. If you’re a stoic: Consider unfollowing your ex
It’s true that somehow we can control our thoughts, but controlling feelings is impossible. Following your ex and being a stoic isn’t the perfect combination. If your breakup was bad, you’re still exposed to pain, you suppress your feelings, it will only torment you. In this situation, you need to go through the stages of the breakup. In order, to free yourself from your ex, you need to grieve. Being a stoic in this modern era means not feeling anything – be indifferent! If your ex is constantly on your social media and you don’t grieve, you’ll end up wounded. You can’t control this situation if you don’t let yourself feel. Thus, unfollowing your ex will be the first step toward it.
7. Unfollow your ex if you constantly check their profile
The temptation after the breakup is not easy to handle. If you think and feel that even muting your ex wouldn’t help you from checking their profile, unfollow your ex. If after the breakup, you both don’t give space to one another to grieve, you would be fed up. If you keep watching their stories or even interacting with your ex, you’ll seem clingy to them. Even if they’re the dumper or the dumpee, that doesn’t make a difference. So, you should unfollow them, even if you’ll regret it in two days. Take your time to grieve and heal. Then you can know what you feel about your ex. You’ll know your next move.
8. Don’t unfollow them if you want to make them miss you
This is very ambiguous and it all depends on how your ex perceived the breakup. An ex can take it as a sign that you’ve already moved on and that can make your ex pull away from you. If your ex still has feelings for you, they would take this chance to work on themselves and reconnect with you. It depends on their personality too. If your ex is narcissistic or stubborn they will take this as a sign of rejection. Unless you know your ex very well, don’t unfollow them to make them miss you. Since it might impact you more negatively than positively.
9. If there is still room for reconciliation…
If both of you needed some time apart to reflect but the breakup isn’t permanent then you shouldn’t unfollow your ex. Thus, you would give the wrong impression or message to them. Your ex might think that you’ve already moved on or that you don’t want to fix the relationship. When the breakup isn’t permanent and you don’t hold grudges, it is better to not unfollow them. During this time, it’s better to use less social media and go more outside. Try to look at the world from a different perspective. The moment you meet more people, you’ll be able to reflect differently. You’ll make new friends and you’ll make different conversations. This will keep you away from interacting too much with your ex or blowing it up. When both of you work on yourselves, it will be easier to reconnect.
10. If your ex has lost feelings for you…
If your ex has lost attraction to you and doesn’t love you anymore, you should unfollow or unfriend them on social media. If you say I unfollowed my ex but maybe they’ll change their mind, that’s something questionable. If they have lost feelings for you there is no room for improvement. I hate to break it up to you this way, but the truth is once the feelings are gone, everything changes. Maybe in the beginning they will start to miss your presence or have flashbacks. That’s quite common. Yet, if your ex isn’t emotionally linked to you, the relationship will be stale. You should unfollow or unfriend your ex to create peace of mind and heal.
Is it better to block or unfriend an ex?
Whether you should unfollow/unfriend or block your ex all depends on your breakup and your stance.
- If you were part of an abusive relationship, it’s better for you to block your ex. This way, you’ll cut off any type of communication with them. You’ll avoid getting hurt again and keep yourself away from the source of pain.
- If you have been dumped, you should unfollow them. Blocking them will give a bitter taste to your ex. They will feel unappreciated for the months or years that you’ve spent together. This will even make them hold grudges or be mad at you.
- If you need some time to figure out things, you need to unfollow your ex and not block them. If you need some time and can’t hold yourself from interacting with your ex, unfollowing them is the best choice. If in this case, you block your ex, they would think of the worst scenarios.
They might think you made your decision, you’re moving on;
You don’t care about them;
You wanted to detach that’s why you needed this time apart;
- If your ex cheated, you should block them. Unfollowing them won’t be enough for you to move away from them. You’ll always have the temptation to reply to them because they always come back. This way, when you block them, you’ll have the situation under control.
Should I unfollow my ex if I want them back?
Well, this works differently with the dumper and the dumpee. If you unfollow the dumpee to make them jealous and come back, that won’t work. In this situation, your ex will be hurt again. They’ll be confused and will think that you’re over them. If you’re the dumpee and you unfollow them, you’ll create mystery. Your ex doesn’t have access to your life anymore and is curious about you. They will wonder what you’re doing or if you’re dating someone else. This will lead them towards you more than posting everything so they can notice you. Note: Covert jealousy can be a useful method yet can be quite risky and challenging. If your ex has a great ego, is super jealous, and does not cooperate, you should avoid using this method to get them back.
Is it immature to unfollow your ex?
It all depends on the reason why you need to unfollow your ex. ~If you unfollow your ex to make them miss you or take revenge, that is something immature. ~On the other hand, if you unfollow your ex to rebuild your connection with yourself, that’s not immature. You shouldn’t consider this decision immature if you distance yourself from a bad relationship. ~It isn’t an immature act if you do it to set your boundaries. If you need to create new boundaries and be a part of another healthy relationship, do it. Shortly, unfollowing your ex is immature only if you use it to play mind games.
Should you unfollow your ex?
You should unfollow your ex only when their presence hinders your healing and you can’t move on. Especially, if you were part of a toxic relationship, it is important to start burning the bridge. If you don’t do it, it will keep you stuck in limbo. Otherwise, If you still have respect for one another you can just focus on your future self-improvement. No harsh feelings, no extreme actions, just letting your ex go! Remember every situation and relationship is different, and the answer is relative. Warm hugs, Callisto
