Yet, in most relationships, this doesn’t work and it is quite risky. It’s risky because you might be stuck in the past constantly by bouncing back to your ex. There will be no room left for progression and growth. Intimacy is just one element of the relationship. Other elements such as emotional rebuilding and fixing commitment issues are essential too. Yes, intimacy is crucial for a relationship but you should know that won’t always bring your ex back. Sleeping with your ex cannot be seen as a fundamental solution to your relationship issues. Again it depends on your relationship, how things ended, and how your ex feels about you now. But before making any type of decision, check these 8 reasons and occasions when sleeping with your ex is a good idea.
1. You can move on completely
People choose to deal with a breakup, grieve and heal in different ways. Some choose to take on new hobbies, travel, or vent to friends and family. Yet, you might belong to the group of people that like to be intimate with your ex once again. A scientific study shows that sleeping with your ex doesn’t delay the healing process. On the contrary, you have the chance to get rid of all the negative emotions and regrets. After you go all through these feelings, you will either feel the eagerness to continue the relationship or end it for good. Don’t get me wrong, sleeping with an ex isn’t a game and no one wants to waste time. Hence, if this is the way to give you a final answer then do it. You will either feel happy and content or at some point disgusted and don’t want to do it again.
2. You prove to yourself that you are not being dependent
Sleeping with your ex can help a lot in finalizing your feelings too. It will help you to sort out your feelings. Even being in a relationship and while grieving, you might still be dependent and mixed up. Sleeping with your ex right after the breakup can open your eyes and work on your attachment style. If you are the anxious type then of course that you will need the presence, attention, and your ex in general. That’s why sleeping with them will allow you to reflect on regretting your decision or you just need them. To have a better understanding of this situation, you should check for the help of a personal coach.A relationship coach helps you to think subjectively and understand breakup psychology better.The dumper and the dumpee think differently and have different grieving and attachment styles.During the one-on-one sessions, you will pin down this problem and choose what’s best for you.
3. Test one another if you aren’t completely over each other
After the breakup, the dumper, and even the dumpee test each other a lot. An ex will test you for various reasons, whether they have the chance to come back or not. That’s why sleeping with an ex sometimes is one of the tools to test them. You might check if your ex is over you or is pretending to be over you. I am not implying to try this if you had a terrible breakup and your ex has already moved on. That would be something wrong to do since it might make the situation even more complex. Hence, if your relationship ended on good terms and you still feel for one another then go for it. Always, keep in mind, to check what your ex is feeling toward you too. Remember, that the breakup and reconciliation aren’t always about you. I know and understand that this might be what you want right now, but take one step at a time. Note: It also depends on your gender, and how breakup sex is going to make you feel afterward. According to a scientific study, men tend to feel good about themselves after sleeping with an ex. Whereas, women felt good about the relationship after the breakup sex.
4. Both of you can enjoy it without having any expectations
Sleeping with an ex is a good idea if you want to blow some steam and not expect anything. If you want to create some type of connection and keep in contact then you can Physical attraction can play a huge role in enjoying each other’s company without expecting anything. Sometimes, you might drain yourself so much to give everything to the relationship and miss little moments. The pressure of doing everything right and committing to them will push you away from one another. Sleeping with an ex when you still have feelings but pulled away can help you rediscover your feelings. If none of you is in another relationship and you have nourished yourself, there is nothing wrong. You can enjoy each other’s company if you are on the same page. Otherwise, some might see it as a waste of time if that won’t be upgraded to an exclusive relationship.
5. Express yourself but don’t try to prove your ex wrong
Sleeping with an ex might help you to express your feelings that you couldn’t or wouldn’t earlier. Many relationships end just in the heat of the moment and you just can’t explain yourself. Be careful, I am not implying that pillow talk will get your ex back or change their feelings for you. All I am advising you is to have this type of intimacy that will open doors to connect emotionally too. Avoid doing that just to prove to your ex that they have made a mistake in breaking up with you.
You can’t prove that your ex did wrong by just sleeping with them and trying to get them all hooked up on you.
This way you might send to them mixed signals and not be direct with your needs and intentions.
6. It helps to enforce the bond
When you end up on good terms and want to rekindle the relationship, physical intimacy isn’t a bad choice. ~First you need to check if your ex feels also the same. ~Second, check if they are already in a relationship or are still healing. If you want to know how your ex feels about you, start by sending them a text after a breakup. Then you might catch up and check if there are chances for you to reconcile. If you ended up on bad terms then it might increase the chance to just stay on good terms. Physical intimacy might lead you to reminisce on good times and share some mutual memories. Hence, that doesn’t mean that you will immediately reconcile. All this intimacy might be a spark or a reason for them to reflect on the situation.
7. It helps to start fresh
A study based on science shows that when women want to reconcile, they choose to invest in emotional bonding. On the other hand when men want to reconcile then they choose to increase the physical intimacy. This is ideal especially when you have broken up a long time ago. You have let all the feelings sink and you have worked on yourself. If you are a different person from what you used to be, give it a try. Of course, if your needs and vision are being met by your ex too.
Define why you want to sleep with your ex after all these years.
Do you still have feelings for them?
Are you doing it because you are feeling lonely and nostalgic?
Defining the reason is quite important if you want to start fresh and rekindle the relationship. Sleeping with them just because will not create a good impression and might take you for granted.
8. It can increase physical attraction
If you broke up because of a lack of physical attraction and didn’t know how to fix it, this might be an opportunity. Especially, if you were in a long-term relationship, it’s not uncommon to lose interest or attraction. That happens because you aren’t constantly working on your feelings and needs and vice versa. If you have been using the No Contact Rule, now you might reconnect with your ex and even sleep with them. You can start to get in contact with them again, rebuild the trust, and bond emotionally. Then if you sleep with them is not going to be an issue. The reason why people want to sleep with one another after the breakup is not always that they want to reconcile. They want to sleep because you and maybe even your ex wants to go back to old habits or what used to be. That’s why you need to be careful of two things:
Why do you want to sleep with your ex?Why does your ex want to sleep with you?
Slept with my ex, what does it mean?
Sleeping with an ex can mean a lot of things. You might have still feelings for them or you filled the void that was bugging you all along. This is such a broad topic that can mean different things to everyone.
- If you were feeling lonely and anxious after the breakup, you slept with him to empower yourself. That’s quite understandable especially when you are dumped and you feel unlovable. You have that feeling that you need to prove them wrong or make them appreciate you again. If you just sleep with your ex, for this reason, things will get out of hand. Your approach might be toxic and even might impact you and your ex negatively.
- If you both enjoy it and get more intimate that means both of you still have feelings for one another. This is quite obvious when an ex get’s more vulnerable with you and tries to reconnect. They aren’t being shallow and talking about unimportant things. Through it all, they want to get to learn about you and what they have been missing.
- This could mean that they are angry at you and might do it as an act of hate. Maybe they want to make suffer the same way they suffered after the breakup. They want to make you all attached again and then push you away. This all happens to their attachment style and personality.
- Might mean that both of you just did it to close the door forever and not look back. This all depends on what type of relationship and breakup you had. If you had an on-and-off relationship and a bad breakup, this might be the result of sleeping with an ex.
Will sleeping with my ex get them back?
Yes and no, sleeping with your ex might and might not get them back. That depends on all how you managed to heal and what’s the reason behind your actions.
An ex might come back if you sleep with them only if you have been working on your feelings first;
If you managed to grief properly and worked on enhancing yourself;
If you both still have feelings for one another;
These are the three top-tier elements that might impact your ex on getting back to you. Otherwise, sleeping with your ex without reciprocating any feelings won’t get them back. It will be just a short journey of fun that won’t give you the wanted results.
How does it feel to sleep with an ex after a few years?
To sleep with your ex after a few years might feel wanted, messed up, and like meeting one another for the first time. How you feel and how you process all of that depends on how both of you proceeded in the post-breakup period. ~If you were feeling lonely and horny then sleeping with your ex after years makes you feel wanted. You might have been dating other people that didn’t give you the same feeling. ~On the other hand, you might not have been dating for a while, and meeting them now would make you relive all past moments. It means that you were just imagining and your actions were the results of your expanded imagination. Otherwise, you might now have real feelings and feel loved at that exact moment. Emotionally, it might be a train wreck because you go through different and mixed feelings. If you don’t know what to feel at that moment that’s pretty natural. Hence, keep in mind, that when you feel like that you aren’t sure of your intentions and expectations.
- Is it okay to sleep with your ex while your current partner isn’t being exclusive? Well, that’s not something preferable to do even when you aren’t exclusive. Maybe they might be dating other people or talking to them. If they have their dating options open then you might talk to them and talk about your needs. If you come to the point when you realize that you aren’t compatible then you might reconsider dating them.
- Why do my ex and I still sleep together, yet he doesn’t want to be with me? He wants to sleep with you for different reasons. He might want to get the benefits of the relationship without even being in it. Other than this, he might want to keep you as a plan b if other relationships don’t work. He might be using the pull and push method, so he can keep in contact with you.
The end: Sleeping with an ex after breakup….
Of course, sleeping with an ex after a breakup has its negative and positive sides. It can be positive to discover your potential to enhance the relationship or move on. As long as it doesn’t impact you negatively then sleeping with an ex is not a bad idea. As soon as you are untethered from all your what-ifs, regrets, and the past, sleeping with an ex is a good idea. The moment you don’t have any certain expectations from this experience, you won’t get hurt or stuck in the past. Enjoy the ride and see it as a way to break the chains of the past! Best, Callisto Adams
